Monthly Archives: June 2014

Funny When You’re Dead How People Start Listenin’

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A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin’

If I Die Young – The Band Perry

My friend died today. They found his body in a river in Slovania. Cause of death unknown, but irrelevant.

He was a prominent figure in my industry. When news of the event was confirmed the media, the fans, and his colleagues all put out the compulsory sympathetic tweet saying how much they’ll miss him, how good of a person he was, and how touched they were by his kindness.

It’s safe to say those things now.

But how many people had the courage to say it to him when he was alive?

And if he were still alive, most of us would let a year go by without calling him. But, what’s important is that when we’d bump into each other we’d gasp, smile and exchange about how “it’s been so long… I miss you…and  that we need to catch up.”

We never call. I was one of them.

I think it’s not the people that causes such outcry, it’s the reminder, the awareness of the fragility of our existence. One’s death is just the catalyst.

 

A Conversation with a Millionaire

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My work allows me hang out with a unique circle: CEO’s of major corporations, self made millionaire entrepreneurs, 12 figure stock traders and trust fundees.

One could say they “have” everything. And that includes problems. First world problems, sure but problems nonetheless.

Truth be told they’re not even problems, they’re more like fears.

Fear of Identity: Which car or watch should I buy?

Fear of Scarcity: Should I take this new business venture?

Fear of Failure: How can I do more?

Fear of Ego: What will others think?

In other words, they’re people, just like you and me. And they have the same needs and struggle with the same things. Sure the variables are different but the “problems” remain.

If there’s one thing my interaction with these men has taught me, it’s that we’re all human. Money and fame are just superficial ways of making that fact, like sports teams, race, religion, and national heritage.

One man whom I’m the most fond of, a self made multi millionaire, extremely humble, intelligent, eloquent to the point where I use a dictionary just to maintain conversion, was concerned about the well being of his daughter.
I told him it’s normal, that it’s a sign he’s a good parent, a caring father.

Discussing the future of his daughter, now just an innocent 4 years old, he was visibly stressed and confused.
His concern was different than most. He was worried about leaving her too much money, about not instilling in her the values of hard work, discipline and the will to overcome adversity.
“It’s a good problem to have, don’t you think?” He ignored my rhetoric. It’s still a problem.
“$5,000,000 is too much don’t you think?”
“Way too much.”

We debated for some time in a serious discussion as one would debate the pros and cons of a business, and settled on $250,000 over 5 years.
Just enough, but not too much.
Isn’t that what we all want? I said to him.

And that’s just the thing. The deca millionaire and the man bagging groceries, deep down, both want the same things.
Love, acceptance, affirmation, dignity, health, purpose… enough but not too much.

Everything else is just bullshit.

Matching Goals and Happiness

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While reading the book The Gift of Imperfection, we came a cross an interesting exercise to understand if your goals and priorities are aligned with what ultimately makes you happy.

First we wrote down the list of things that give us true moments of joy, that make our face smile and give us excitement.

Then we wrote down the goals we are trying to work towards.

The good news is that they pretty much match.

What we need to work on is to make them a constant reality, a routine that sweeps away those bad days wasted running behind things that are not important neither for our happiness nor for reaching our goals.

These are our lists. What makes us happy & what our goals are:

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Musings Don’t Have Good Titles

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I watched a hockey game (or any sports game for that matter) for the first time in a long time tonight. It happened to be game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals, double over time.

I forgot how mesmerizing it is to watch it. What these guys can do on ice is more than I could do on foot. Impressive.

Hockey is quite ruthless with scoring, which of course adds to the excitement. One goal and game over. For the LA Kings that meant a Stanley Cup Championship, for the NY Rangers, another chance tomorrow.

Then, fast as lightening, the Kings scored. Blink, and you’d have missed it. Game over.

The announcer surmised the scene best: “complete elation for one team, complete agony for the other.”

I am completely impartial to who wins, but I couldn’t help but feel more sorry for the Rangers than excitement for the Kings.

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